Shinobi's Rivalry
by NoodleNation
Summary: Naruto's back after another 3 years of training with Jiraiya. Feelings are awoken when the blonde returns to Konoha. Now 3 shinobi's must fight for the 19 year old's heart. Enter the world of the shinobis and watch as the story unfolds. Yaoi. Male/Male.
1. Prologue

**Author's Note: **

**I was drunk at a party and while unconscious I was inseminated via an eye dropper. The millions of sperm swam through my mangina and nine months later this story was born. Help me raise this baby by reviewing. **

**[ S H I N O B I'S R I V A L R Y ] **

**Prologue**

**Disclaimer: **

**So, yeah. I don't own Naruto. Boo-hoo.**

Years have passed on. Sasuke came back to Konoha after he killed Itachi and came to a realization of what his brother did in order to protect the village. Not many people were thrilled about this but Tsunade still welcomed Sasuke back, knowing that was what Naruto would have wanted.

Sakura was now an Elite medical ninja who was closely becoming as good as Tsunade in the medical field. She was also now a Jounin and assisted A-ranked mission consistently because of her well advance medical jitsu.

All of this happened while Naruto was venturing on a three year journey with ero-sennin. Naruto was now nineteen turning twenty soon and they were finally going back to Konoha.

**The story will now unfold . . .**


	2. Episode One

**[ S H I N O B I'S R I V A L R Y ]**

**Episode One:**

**Disclaimer: **

**This is the part where I say I don't own Naruto, because if I did it'd be ninja yaoi 24/7, babeh! [Shadow clone orgy] –NoseBleeds-**

"Well, how does it feel to be back home?" The white haired flamboyant man bellowed out to a shaggy blonde hair man.

"Damn good." The blonde haired man replied, grinning and waiting for the wooden gates of Konoha to open. Naruto had changed a lot in those three years. He grew out his hair a little longer and no longer had it in wild spikes. Instead it was in a wild messy look that worked out a little too well on him. His body had matured greatly giving him a masculine yet feline look. He had a lean body that was pact with muscles. The years of training with Jiraiya wasn't all for nothing. He'd learned tons of new Ninjitsu, Taijitsu, and Genjitsu from Jiraiya. He was also forced to master weapons of different forms such as shurikens, kunais and katanas. All which Naruto thought were boring except for one. The scythe.

Naruto had mastered the weapon of scythes. He had two scythes that were interconnected and strapped onto his back with metal chains attached to it, wrapping around his arms, feet, and neck. He named his two scythes Shi and Seikatsu which means death and life. Two perfect names for his scythes considering Shi was made out of pure black metal and Seikatsu was made out of a rare form of white metal. Of course Jiraiya had to burst his bubble and said it was the corniest shit he had ever heard.

The wooden doors groaned as it was pushed open by two gate guards who instantly froze in fear after seeing a blonde man with two scythes longer than his own body, extending to a good seven feet. Black metal chains interlaced with white metals chains crisscrossed over the man's body, giving him an assassin-like look.

"P-Pa-Paper works?" One of the scrawny guards asked, eyeing Naruto with a look of pure terror.

Jiraiya sighed, shaking his head at Naruto. He knew Naruto was giving them _the _look on purpose. He wacked the blonde boy beside the head to get him to cut it out.

"The fuck?" Naruto yelled at Jiraiya giving him the stink eye.

Jiraiya ignored him and handed over the pink paper works stating that they were civilians of Konoha. The guards reluctantly let them in still eyeing Naruto as he still had _the _look on his face.

All around them people stood still and stared at Naruto and Jiraiya as the two made their way into the town. None of them recognizing who Naruto nor Jiraiya were thanks to their drastic change in looks.

"Hey, Ero-sennin." Naruto said, poking the man on the shoulder to get his attention.

"Hmm?" Jiraiya questioned.

"You go on ahead. I'll meet you at Baa-chan in a few minutes. I need to get something before I meet her." Jiraiya gave Naruto a questioning look. Whatever it was he couldn't quite possibly see how it was important enough for it to be addressed first over than friends, but dismissed it, trusting Naruto "sure thing, kid."

Gai, Lee, Tenten, Neji, Shikamaru, Sasuke, Sai, Kakashi, Sakura, Yamato, Shino, Kiba, Hinata, Ino, Iruka, Choji, Shizune, and Tsunade were all waiting anxiously back at the office were the Hokage resides. Everyone were eager to see how Naruto turned out to be, albeit a few of them feigned nonchalance they were indeed eager.

There was a loud knock on the door and everyone shuffled their feet, ready to jump on Naruto and greet him.

"Come in!" Tsunade yelled out, excitement screaming out from the tone of her voice.

A blue of white dashed in and stroke a pose. "I am Jiraiya, the great Gama sennin. Master on the art of Toad summoning and love making!" There was an awkward silence from everyone in the room.

"Oh, it's just you." Tsunade sighed with a depressed face that reflected how everyone else felt too.

"W-Wh-Where's Naruto?" Hinata asked hiding her face under the hood from her jacket, hoping she didn't anger Jiraiya.

Jiraiya's eye twitched and he let out a sad sigh. He slumped down on the green couch. "He's on his way. He had to stop by to get something." Jiraiya said in a defeated tone with an arm over his face.

"What the hell is more important than meeting us?" Sakura screamed and punched a hole in the wall. Everyone backed away from her, fearing that they too would end up broken.

Jiraiya shrugged in return.

"What is he like now?" Tsunade questioned, curiosity piqued in her voice.

Jiraiya sat up and smirked. "He certainly changed for the good that's for sure. Stronger, taller, a _little _smarter." Jiraiya chuckled. He took a minute while pondering on their journey together on how exactly Naruto changed. "Oh yes. Sexier," he said the last part with a twinkle in his eyes.

Everyone turned wide eyed and backed away from Jiraiya.

"I swear to Kami if you turned Naruto into a pervert or did anything remotely sexual to him I'll castrate you with a rusty kunai! You sick fuck!" Tsunade yelled, hammering her fist down onto her desk, causing paper to scatter across the room." A few growls agreed in unison with the threat.

Jiraiya put up his hands in a surrendering gesture, "No! I didn't mean it like that!" Tsunade crossed her arms giving Jiraiya a chance to explain himself.

"Well you see . . ." Jiraiya said sheepishly. "He insisted on repaying his debt for me training him. That's when I noticed that Naruto was . . ." Jiraiya stopped for a minute not sure on how to word it without losing his jewels. "Well . . . it started two years ago . . ."

"Stop beating around the bush and on with it!" Tsunade and Iruka growled. By then everyone was growing restless on what exactly Jiraiya meant. Even Kakashi stopped reading his book to stare at Jiraiya. He wasn't worried, just curious. He knew Jiraiya would never do such things to Naruto.

"Well Naruto turned out to be a fine young lad, and I noticed that everyone would stop and stare at him with lust when he wasn't wearing his _weapons_." Jiraiya said "weapons" with a slight chuckle, which no one picked up on.

Jiraiya's wording caused Kakashi to arch an eyebrow. He acknowledges that Naruto was indeed a handsome man but to cause everyone to stop and stare with lust? He couldn't see it.

"Well anyways . . . you see. He wanted to repay his debts and I was running out of ideas for my Icha Icha series so I had him help me with the ladies." Kakashi stared at his book. _How many sex positions were inspired by Naruto?_ He wondered.

That earned Jiraiya several growls from Iruka, Tsunade, and Sakura. The others were laughing at such idea. "Well, damn! Naruto is a sex machine?" Kiba laughed, his voice booming across the room.

Tsunade slowly approached Jiraiya like a predator stalking a prey. "No damn it! Kiba shut the fuck up!" Jiraiya yelled, crossing his legs to protect his jewels from Tsunade who was now pulling out a kunai.

Everyone stopped what they were doing when they heard chains rattling from the hallway coming towards the room. "What's that noise?" Hinata asked.

Jiraiya smirked. _That_ noise would be Konoha's sunshine.

**To Be Continued . . .**

**So, yeah. Did you likey? Remember to review unless you want this baby to starve. **


	3. Episode Two

**[ S H I N O B I'S R I V A L R Y ]**

**Episode Two:**

**Disclaimer:**

**NoodleNation: Knock knock.**

**You: Who's there?**

**NoodleNation: A sad Noodle, because he doesn't own Naruto. :c**

**You: [Gives hugs and kisses]**

**NoodleNation: :D!**

**Recap:**

Tsunade slowly approached Jiraiya like a predator stalking a prey. "No damn it! Kiba shut the fuck up!" Jiraiya yelled, crossing his legs to protect his jewels from Tsunade who was now pulling out a kunai.

Everyone stopped what they were doing when they heard chains rattling from the hallway coming towards the room. "What's that noise?" Hinata asked.

Jiraiya smirked. _That_ noise would be Konoha's sunshine.

Before Naruto left for his three year long journey with Jiraiya he hid Tsunade's green emerald necklace in a jar to the side of his father's grave. From what Jiraiya had described what their journey would be like he knew that the klutz he was he'd end up losing his most prized possession that Baa-chan gave him.

Walking down the halls towards Tsunade's office gained him a few looks that he was use to. A seven foot long double scythe weapon strapped to a man's back tend to do that at times. He was surprised a few ANBUs haven't come to attack him yet, like the ones in the Village Hidden in the Clouds.

Naruto wondered what the few friends that he had expressions would be like. The walls leading to the Hokage's office haven't changed at all. Old portraits of previous Hokages decorated the red walls in a linear symmetrical pattern. The clashing of metals chains that wrapped around his body sliced through the eerily quiet halls. He stopped in front of a large wooden door with Tsunade's name printed in it.

"I'm home old lady!" Naruto yelled whilst closing his eyes in excitement and kicking the door open. When he opened his ocean blue eyes he was greeted by silence. It's not that everyone didn't know what to say. They had millions of question for the blonde boy, but they were just stunned by the beauty of Naruto.

The sun was setting by the large window behind Tsunade's desk and it beamed rich rays of red and yellow upon Naruto, enhancing the color of his ocean blue eyes. The colors of the sunrays landed on Naruto giving him the look of a red leaf turning in the season of fall. The symbol of Konoha, Village Hidden in the Leaves.

Kakashi couldn't believe his eyes. The sight before him was simply beautiful. Jiraiya wasn't lying at all. His grey eyes wandered and dance across Naruto's body. The boy grew out his sun kissed hair and whether he tended to style it or not, the messy blonde hair fit him perfectly. The boy has lost the last of his baby fat and the result was mouth dropping.

Kakashi's eye roamed over his student's chest that was concealed with a plain orange T shirt that clung nicely. His eyes roamed lower gazing at the black sweats that accentuated the boy's ass. He was so engross with Naruto he nearly forgot about the metals chains that wrapped around his arms, legs, and neck that connected to the two scythes that were strapped on his back.

Naruto couldn't take the silence anymore so he decided to act out. He ran and flung his body onto Tsunade and gave her a bear hug that could rival Gai-sensei's. "Baa-chan!"

Tsunade was knocked out of her stupor by Naruto. "Na-Naruto?" She stuttered. "_Great I'm becoming like Hinata." _She thought to herself.

"Yup!" He answered with a wolfish grin, exposing his slightly longer than average canines, a result that happened recently due to the Kyuubi inside of him.

Naruto glanced around the room drinking in everything. He still recognized every one of his friends; they'd all retain a certain feature that even puberty couldn't fully change. His eyes stopped and widened when he got to a certain raven haired boy.

There he was. The boy that Naruto had always wanted to take back to Konoha. Sasuke Uchiha.

He hadn't changed much at all. He was taller and displayed a more masculine look but everything was the same. His duck butt hairstyle, his cold eyes albeit it looked more fulfilled now, and his signature smirk that he was showing Naruto at the moment.

No words could describe how Naruto felt. Seeing Sasuke back at Konoha with the coldness that he saw when he was with Orochimaru almost gone. He was determined to complete his next mission – to take the remaining coldness away and replace it with joy.

Naruto ran over to embrace the raven haired boy.

"It's good to see you home, Sasuke." Naruto whispered, heartfelt. Sasuke didn't know how to act towards the blonde boy's action. He stood there limply, arms hung low, contemplating if he should embrace his . . . **friend**? Back.

He couldn't do it. For the first time in years he felt guilty. He felt guilty for calling him dobe, guilty for rubbing his social status to his face, guilty for making him feel weak, guilty for injuring him, and guilty for the trouble he caused.

Kakashi eyed the two boys. The affection Naruto showed Sasuke was beyond friendship in his point of view. This made Kakashi wonder if perhaps Naruto were gay. He made a mental note to ask Jiraiya-sama about his former student later.

"Naruto, what **are **those things?" Tenten asked, pointing to Shi and Seikatsu strapped on his back.

"Oh!" Naruto snapped away from nuzzling Sasuke ever further which was starting to make the raven haired boy blush. "They're scythes, my choice of weapons," he said grinning. "I bet _even _you don't know how to use them, Tenten."

The comment made Tenten, the master of weaponry scoff. "I'll prove you wrong any day, Naruto," she said, challenging him.

"When the hell am I going to get _**my **_hug, Naruto," Kiba growled. The display of affection Naruto showed towards the Uchiha bastard made him grit his teeth. The boy did nothing but caused trouble for Naruto. He didn't deserve hugs from _**his **_Naruto.

Before Naruto could reply, Kiba rushed over in a blur and gave the blonde a possessive bone crushing, groping his ass and growling in the crane of his neck. He needed to show everyone who Naruto belonged to especially the Uchiha. Using his sensitive nose he could smell that Naruto was still a virgin and he was damn well near throwing the beauty down and claim him. Naruto's sense of pride stopped him from doing it. He would have to court Naruto to gain his virtue.

"Kiba!" Naruto shrieked. He didn't know what came over the dog boy. He never considered him and Kiba as close friends before and judging by the way his ass was getting squeezed, this went way beyond friendship.

Everyone stared wide eyed and gasped as Naruto struggled to get away from Kiba.

"Shit . . ." Shikamaru murmured, "he's at that age."

Naruto gave Shikamaru a terrified and questioning look, begging him to elaborate.

Shikamaru glanced down at his all of a sudden interesting feet. He shifted awkwardly, not sure how Naruto would take the news. "You know how the Inuzuka clan is in tuned with their pet shinobi dogs and how they base their ninjitsu and taijitsu off of them?" Shikamaru asked.

Naruto nodded, remembering how Kiba and Akumaru worked so well together. It was as if they were one being when they fought side by side. Both of their movements and battle tactics were based off on each other.

"Because the Inuzukas are so harmonized with their shinobi dogs, they tend to carry out similar traits such as enhanced smelling, hearing, and speed. Unfortunately, they also picked up on some primordial behavior such as the need to find a mate and the possessive nature that follows with it." Shikamaru stated all too factually and well rehearsed as if he explained this behavior countless of times already.

"But why me?" Naruto cried out. He didn't understand why all of a sudden Kiba is now showing interest in him.

Shikamaru replied by giving a lazy one shoulder shrug. "He likes what he sees and also he can smell that you're still a virgin, which is a quality that's almost irresistible itself."

Hushed whispers immediately erupted in the room. Almost everyone was baffled that the eighteen years old blue eyed beauty still had his maidenhood intact.

Jiraiya shook his head, ashamed of Naruto. He was mortified to call Naruto his student. Kakashi felt happiness surge in his body. He was glad that if there was really some great deity out in the universe he could quite possibly Naruto's first. Kiba gave a satisfied gruff, tightening his hold on Naruto, daring anyone to challenge him and his mate.

A crimson red blush crept its way towards the blonde boy's face. "How do you even know if I'm a virgin?" Naruto asked in an irritated tone, not believing how Shikamaru would know, even if he was a genius.

"No need to be ashamed of it, Naruto." Shikamru drawled, halfway through the sentence he yawned. "I think it's really cute, honestly," Sakura piped in, earning her a glare from Naruto. "And I know because otherwise Kiba wouldn't even bother with you. He'd only be interested in virgins," Shikamaru continued while Naruto was still trying to squirm away from Kiba.

The friction Naruto was making by squirming made Kiba moaned. He knew he found the right mate. Naruto doing this was better than sex with a random person itself.

Naruto suddenly felt something thick, long, and rigid pressing against his stomach. He felt heat radiating from the monster. Kiba's jounin uniform did no help to obscure his thick pulsating member that was proudly prodding Naruto against his belly button.

Naruto didn't know what it was at first. Not until he heard Kiba panting Naruto's name in his ear, moaning and rocking his hips.

"Kiba?" Naruto yelled, causing all the birds in Konoha to scatter away from the nest they made at the rooftops and making all of Konoha's civilian to turn their head towards the Hokage's resident in curiosity.

**To Be Continued . . .**

**Review or else I'll rape you with my 18'in vibrator that runs on double D batteries.**

**Jokes. ;D**

**No, seriously.**


	4. Episode Three

**[ S H I N O B I'S R I V A L R Y ]**

**Episode Three:**

**Disclaimer:**

**I do not own Naruto or anything related to it. This story was purely written for Naruto fans.**

**Recap:**

Naruto suddenly felt something thick, long, and rigid pressing against his stomach. He felt heat radiating from the monster. Kiba's jounin uniform did no help to obscure his thick pulsating member that was proudly prodding Naruto against his belly button.

Naruto didn't know what it was at first. Not until he heard Kiba panting Naruto's name in his ear, moaning and rocking his hips.

"Kiba?" Naruto yelled, causing all the birds in Konoha to scatter away from the nest they made at the rooftops and making all of Konoha's civilian to turn their head towards the Hokage's resident in curiosity.

* * *

Naruto thanked Kakashi for rescuing him. Together they walked the streets of Konoha, attracting attention from people, wondering why the great copy ninja was walking with the mysterious deadly beauty.

"Thanks Kakashi-sensei," Naruto huffed still trying to catch his breath, "Do you think Kiba will follow us?" Naruto asked as he and Kakashi jumped up onto a tin covered roof on the eastern part of town.

The usual relaxed silver haired ninja felt rage coursing through his veins. Kiba was practically having sex with Naruto through clothes. The dog boy was seconds from coming before Kakashi grabbed Naruto and used a jitsu to escape. He was tempted to pull down his headband and use his sharingan to teach the pup a lesson.

"No," Kakashi said "not unless he wants to lose his dick." Kakashi snarled, eyes full of malice. If looks could kill then his grey eye would have slaughtered a whole village.

Naruto was eyeing his sensei wearily. He had never seen Kakashi acting in such a manner. The ninja was usually calm and kind, but he was too tired to question Kakashi. He had traveled through the forest for a day straight with Jiraiya to get to Konoha and the fatigue was hitting Naruto full force.

"Kakashi-sensei, do you think I could sleep at your place?"

Kakashi looked down at his student to see the boy's blue orbs half lidded, leaning onto him a bit for support.

"Why can't you sleep at your place?" The jounin questioned. It wasn't that the matter bothered him. In fact, he was thrilled, but he just couldn't trust himself to be alone with the young fox.

Naruto was too tired to form complete sentences. "Got kicked out . . . didn't pay . . . three years," Naruto mumbled.

Kakashi sighed. His fox needed sleep and he'd be damn to take that away from him. He'd just have to trust his wild libido to stay calm for a couple of hours without molesting the boy.

The silver haired jounin picked up the boy effortlessly and carried him bride style without receiving any objection from him. Kakashi was surprised to find that the two scythes were light. There were weird inscriptions written on the blades. He'd have to ask Naruto about the scythes later.

In a few leaps using chakra to increase his speed, Kakashi made it to his two bedroom apartment and place Naruto gently down, opening the door to let him in.

Naruto shuffled in wordlessly, mentally noting himself to inspect the apartment later. He walked into a random room, hoping that it was a bedroom. He was happy to see a king sized bed waiting for him.

"Night Kashi," Naruto mumbled, awake enough to feel his presence behind him. Naruto crawled into the bed and relaxed into the soft heavenliness, a gratified sigh escaping his mouth before he fell asleep.

Kakashi was about to tell Naruto that that was his bedroom and the guest room was next door, but after hearing Naruto's nickname for him he had lost all coherent thoughts. In all his years of knowing Naruto he had never heard Naruto address him by the cute nickname. He sighed and closed the door, making his way to the bookcase that was filled with Icha Icha Paradies books in his living room.

"Time to keep myself occupied." Kakashi mumbled to himself, picking out a book particular book that was about a boy falling in love with his teacher. He went over to sit on his black leather sofa to start reading, only imagining it was Naruto in the story instead.

Three hours have passed and Naruto was still asleep. Kakashi decided that the boy would be hungry after he woke up so he went and dialed for Teuchi to have six bowls of miso pork ramen to go.

'_He'd definitely love this,'_ Kakashi thought to himself.

Kakashi decided that it was about time to check up on Naruto. The silver haired ninja shuffled his feet silently across the room, opening the white door leading to his bedroom Kakashi was greeted by an angelic being lying on his bed. The moonlight beamed down through his window panes giving the kitsune a heavenly appearance.

The jounin noticed that the blonde was sleeping shirtless, revealing his toned chest.

'_Three years of training did wonders for Naruto.' _Kakashi thought in awe, admiring his sleek, muscular yet not too muscular physique.

Naruto groaned and shifted, causing the comforter to slide down lower from his stomach. Kakashi was rewarded to the sight of Naruto's soft cock nestled in his blonde curls.

'_Dear, Kami! The boy's sleeping fully naked on my bed!' _Kakashi was instantly hard. The combination of Naruto's sleep tousled blonde hair, naked body, and groaning in his bed was too much for the shinobi. He wanted all three things to be for a whole different reason.

Kakashi let out a sexually frustrated groan along with Naruto. It came out a little too loudly and caused Naruto to stir even more.

Ocean blue orbs opened its eyes and sat up, causing the comforter to pool around Naruto's feet and hanging off the edge of the bed slightly. Grogginess was still in his eyes but the boy recognized his sensei immediately.

"Hey, what's up Kakashi?" Naruto mumbled while wiping invisible eye crusts away. The jounin barely comprehended what his student asked him. His grey eye was plastered to Naruto's naked body. He was contemplating if he should take down his headband to reveal his sharingan eye to drink in the sight even further; ingraining it deep inside his cranium like all the other jutsus he copied.

Naruto acted as if he was oblivious that he was naked. Naked and in his sensei's bed. "Naruto, you're naked." Kakashi stated.

Naruto smiled sheepishly and raised a hand to scratch the back of his head in an embarrassing manner; making his bicep ripple, "sorry, I sleep naked all the time when I traveled with Jiraiya, so it's kind of like a habit now. Hope you don't mind."

'_Not at all.'_

"Oh." Kakashi stated dumbly in a husky tone.

'_But that doesn't explain why he isn't bothered being naked in front of me.' _Kakashi mused.

Naruto was unaware of his sensei's raging hard on that could have rivaled Kiba's. The blond got up and stretched his back, arching forward with his arms raised above his head. The sight was a sin to watch.

Kakashi's cock twitched and he briefly decided that he had to leave before he took the ignorant boy right then.

Kakashi decided that he needed to get laid. Badly. He was going to have to pay a visit to the infamous sex fiend, Anko soon. The kunoichi had a thing for Kakashi ever since he could remember and it was high time for him to take on her generous offer for Naruto's sake.

Naruto didn't know what was going on with his sensei. Kakashi had a glint in his eyes that Naruto couldn't pin point the emotion behind it. Naruto looked down at himself seeing if there was anything on his body that could have made his sensei act weird.

'_Nope.'_ Aside from a few additional battle scars, he thought his body looked exactly the same as three years ago. Yes, he grew several more inches, but living with the cheap Toad sage meant a life of living in dirty motels that had questionable stains on the tattered bed sheets and escaping hordes of angered woman that wanted to castrate the old man. Naruto never got the proper nutritions for his muscles to develop properly.

Naruto noticed that he was nude after putting his sweatpants and T shirt back on. _"Could that be the reason?" _Naruto wondered, but quickly dismissed it. He and Kakashi took frequent trips to the bathhouse back then. The ninja had seen Naruto in the nude quite a number of times, even though Naruto have never seen Kakashi's body. The silver haired shinobi was a quick and sly one. In fact, Naruto had never seen the man without his mask off.

The smell of miso ramen wafted into the room and Naruto's body responded immediately.

"Ramen!" Naruto screamed in glee, rushing into the source of the smell. Three years without ramen from old man Teuchi would do that to the blonde.

"Did you buy ramen for meeee?" Naruto asked dragging out the words; inches away from Kakashi face.

"No," Kakashi lied, jokingly.

Kakashi patted Naruto's head playfully after seeing him pout and glare at him. "Yes, Naruto they're for you. Now follow me to the dining room," Kakashi motioned over to the small room with a square glass table, gesturing Naruto to sit across from him.

"So, Naruto," Kakashi begin, opening the containers to the soup slowly. He chuckled inwardly after hearing Naruto's stomach growled. He knew that he wasn't winning any of Naruto's affection by acting this way, but the jounin couldn't help it. He loved to tease the young boy.

Kakashi slowly and carefully removed the noodles from the to-go box and place it inside a bowl. He then slowly poured the soup, glancing at Naruto secretly to see his reaction. Naruto's blue eyes were staring transfixed on the bowl. "K-ka-kakashi, I know you're doing that on purpose!" Naruto growled and glared at his sensei.

"Eating is like making love, Naruto. You have to see it, smell it, and taste it in a deliciously slow way. You can't just rush the experience, unless you want a tummy ache, _or _a very displeased partner," Kakashi joked, knowing from earlier that Naruto was still a virgin.

Naruto picked up on Kakashi's teasing tone and quickly retorted back. "I wouldn't be talking Kakashi. You probably haven't gotten any pussy in years. That's probably why you hide yourself in those porn books Jiraiya writes all the time." The look on Kakashi's face showed Naruto that he was in utter shock. That made the boy to continue on his insults. "You know there's a statistic that says ninety-one percent of men who look up porn have small dicks, thus why they can't get any." Naruto was inwardly beaming. Never mess with an Uzamaki Naru—"

"Please. I get plenty of pussies. Too much actually," Kakashi replied back nonchalantly while stirring the noodles, "and if you want to talk about statistics, I'm part of the twenty-two percent population of men that has a dick longer than nine inches."

Naruto was staring at his sensei wide eye and gaping like a fish. _'Dear, Kami! Longer than nine fucking inches?'_

"You know Naruto, you should definitely close your mouth. The image is very provocative," Kakashi leaned in closer towards Naruto, "unless you wanted to see how much of me you can fit in that mouth of yours?"

Naruto blushed ten shades darker than Gaara's hair. He quickly looked down to avoid his sensei's eye. "Just give me my damn noodles," Naruto mumbled.

**To Be Continued . . .**

**Thankies goes to the following fantabulous reviewers: **

**Sousie ****– **Lots of love to you for reviewing and unfortunately, I already have the three people decided, so don't be sad if your ninja bois didn't get chosen! **/Hearts\\ :)**

**Mitsuki Neko** – Thanks for reviewing! I agree Kiba is definitely a perv and after finishing this chapter you'll discover who perv numero dos is. :)

**Loveyaoigirl4ever** – Thank you so much for reviewing. It's nice to know that someone actually loves my story! Oh, and I love your name. It describes me perfectly . . . well except that I'm a boy. XD

**A Kistsunes Light –** Hey Mr./Ms./Mrs. Anonymous person! Thanks goes to you for reviewing of course. :)


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